Illusions of a Life I Will Never Have
by Juuhachi-gou Goddess of Death
Summary: Just a short little thing I wrote from GT Trunks' point of view about his thoughts on why his father doesn't notice him.


Illusions of a Life I Will Never Have  
  
A/N: This is a one-shot fic on the thoughts that GT Trunks has about his father and his mirai self. It's about how all he wants is to be noticed by the one person he wants to notice him more than anyone else. I'm trying to get better at writing in first person so that's why I'm doing all this first person stuff. I'll be posting more of these things in the future, but this is a ONE SHOT fic. So please don't tell me to continue it lol. I have too many stories going on at once to try and keep this one going too. R&R please!  
  
I wonder so many times, why my father, the one person I try to impress, try to make him proud of me, thinks of me as a brat and nothing more. Ever since I was little...he's treated me like I'm nothing. Maybe I am nothing, I wouldn't know. All I know is that I can't be the Trunks he wants me to be.  
  
And it's all Mirai Trunks' fault. My future counterpart's fault. He was everything my father wants me to be. Strong, confident, proud...and I am none of that. I want to be a normal human, I don't want to be cold and cruel like my father, I don't want to be obsessed with being the best. All I want is for him to notice me. He's only hugged me once, and that was because he was going to die and he didn't want it on his conscience. I do think he was proud of me back then, when I was strong. But...I don't want to be that anymore. I try to be normal, I no longer train, and I don't spar with anyone anymore.  
  
Future me, if I ever see you I will make you pay. If you would have never came back after you warned them, then they would have defeated those robots and he would be proud of me, even today.  
  
You disgust me. You've never come back to see how we're doing, how do we even know you're alive? If you really cared so much if anyone died here, then you would have come back here to see us. I mean, mother said you adored me, you were so happy when you held me when I was an infant. But...if that was true then why have you caused me so much pain?  
  
When I was little I always hoped that you would come back and I would get to meet you, the one that was so fond of me when I was too young to remember you. They don't have any pictures, but I have a feeling that you look so much different and act so much different than me. I always wondered what it would be like to meet myself.  
  
Now all I want is for you to come here so I can kick your ass and show my father that he should be proud of me, not you. That I am not the weakling brat that he believes me to be. I cry so many nights because he pretends I'm not even here, when he has such a strong bond with Bra, and she wouldn't fight to save her life. If she doesn't have to fight for him to love her, then why do I? Is it because I'm a man? Or is it because I should be like Mirai Trunks?  
  
I don't want my father to hate me. I don't want to feel so invisible to him. I love him, doesn't he see that I would give my life to save him? I would give my life to save him, mother, my sister, all those that care about me. So why doesn't he? I know he's the prince of Saiyans and I know he has high standards...but we're a dead race! Why can't he just be like a normal human and treat me like that as well? I just wish I could make him see...  
  
I look in the mirror and see the reflection of a man I am proud of. I have made something of my life, I have everything I could ever want. Except one thing.  
  
A father. A father that acknowledges my existence and a father that is proud of me for who I am, not what I can never be. I am confident that one day he will understand...I know that one day he will see me and he'll tell me how proud he is of me. But...I know that deep down, he'll still wish I was Mirai Trunks, that strong warrior that came from the future that killed the androids in his future, that killed Cell in his future. The one that came here to save them from the same doom that faced his world.  
  
If I keep hoping, everything I want will come true. Father...all I want is for you to look at me with respect and pride and tell me that you love me. Tell me that you're happy that I'm your son and that you wouldn't ever choose Mirai Trunks over me. That will be the happiest day in my life...  
  
I need a father, I need to feel loved. 


End file.
